3 Ways to Make Lemonade Out of Life’s Lemons
As Told by a 23 Old with Stage 3 Cancer
You listen to your body.
The doctor’s voice was firm but gentle. It sounded like a rebuke of sorts after I described myself as crazy for running to urgent care for a little pain in my arm smack in the middle of a pandemic. He leaned in, though 6 feet away, still hearing me. “I’m here to listen,” he said.
I waited in the sterile room and clutched my arm. On the bright white wall, a painting of a lemon tree hung for the comfort of patients. I thought of the age old saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
The doctor sent me to another room where I received an ultrasound. I laid on my back and grieved. I looked up at the pictures of little people inside anonymous wombs. I asked the nurse if she’d seen many pregnant women today. She chuckled whilst nodding, “that’s almost all we’ve seen today.” Almost. Was I the exception? No baby grew in my womb. She smeared the cold jelly on my arm, her eyes glued to the screen. No baby. Just a tumor in my chest wreaking havoc in my veins.
After the ultrasound, we found a blood clot in my arm near my PICC line. A daily shot in the tummy for three months would be part of the solution. The nurse handed me a bag full of needles. Wasn’t the tumor enough? I sighed. More lemons.
I waited for the doctor to return with the informational packet. Side effects. Potential reactions. A slice of the lemon directory on paper. As I sat, I let tears build up in my eyes. I raised my arms above my head in surrender and said, “Jesus, you’re beautiful.” Out of all the songs I treasured, those lyrics (almost) surprised me as they poured from my lips. What prompted those words? His present beauty in the waiting.
Out of my heart, I birthed a prayer. Let this produce empathy in me.
The doctor returned. I began to weep. “Doctor, how did this happen? I walk, eat healthy, and flush my PICC line every day. I don’t understand.” I dropped my head. How could you do all the “right” steps and still end up in this seat?
His informed response reassured me. “Sometimes tumors cause this. It’s not your fault.” His kindness continued from our earlier meeting. He handed me the packet and I scanned the big words and capital letters. Before the diagnosis in September, they would have caused my knees to tremble. Now, I stood familiar with the potential of bitter events. Rather than panicking, I focused on the moment where my feet stood and looked for the good. Before heading home, the nurse handed me a warm compress for the pain. It felt like Heaven.
When I got home, I sat down to eat dinner. How curious it is that we find ways to be normal in the most abnormal of times. I reflected on the day’s events. Jesus, let this produce empathy in me. It felt less like a prayer and more like a desperate plea. Perhaps, they are not so different.
So, how do you turn lemons into lemonade? Here’s three ideas to ponder. Considering these helped me. If they help you, well then today would have been more than worth it.
1. Acknowledge the Sting.
To ignore a wound is to give it room to infect everything else. And here’s the thing, you don’t have to ignore your pain. You can say, “it sucks.” You can grieve with hope. You can hold them in one hand. And with the other hand, you can embrace a friend and let them feel the sting with you.
2. Find Spots of Solace in the Crushing
Lemons are peeled and crushed before lemonade is born. Grapes are crushed before wine is created. Even diamonds are crushed before coming into fruition. And when you are in the thick of suffering, you cannot avoid the crushing. A disease like cancer will peel your pride away faster than you can slide on your hospital gown. But there’s still solace in those spaces.
I find humor is one of those. I laugh with my nurses all the time and it makes everything more bearable.
Serving others in the midst of where you land is another. Some of the strongest NGOs have come from a place of personal suffering. Helping others, even in the midst of a trial, is like medicine to the bones.
Prayer can be a place of solace. The bible says God is close to those crushed in spirit. I believe this with everything in me.
3. Taste the Lemonade
Look for the good. I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you are already pouring out sweetness in the middle of bitter circumstances. And can I just tell you something? You are a miracle. Don’t neglect to remember this in the suffering. Taste the Lemonade.
It’s there.
I’m confident of this.
